When the Best Laid Birthday Plans reach Epic Fail

Ever feel embarrassed when you thought you done something really special?  Try seeing how you feel after somebody gives your wife a better present than you gave her on her birthday.  That’s what happened to me recently when my wife enjoyed one of those “special” birthdays in her life.  I figured I’d treat her to a gourmet dinner, cooked at home so it would be just right.  And I got a box of candy, some flowers and a pretty card. 

So how did it go wrong?  Well, to begin with, before the sun rose the phone was ringing with calls from friends and family wishing her “Happy Birthday.”  Then the doorbell started ringing.  Seems like one delivery of a special card or present or message arrived each hour.  And, to top it off, her parents sent a special birthday bouquet from 1-800-Flowers.com, which made mine look like something to be set beside our toothpick bowl.  And her parents got them for 40% off, using a Groupon sale coupon at 1-800-Flowers!  This birthday present arrived in a special vase; the arrangement was so large it took up the center of our dining room table so I couldn’t even see her face while we were enjoying her dinner. 

And though she gushed over the special meal I’d fixed, I could see that her eyes kept gazing at those flowers.  It made me feel like you’d feel if you were the loser is a tennis match.  I poured her the champagne and escorted her to our living room where she could relax and enjoy her dessert amidst all the cards and gifts.  That’s when the final straw hit.  She thanked me for the candy, cake and ice cream I’d ordered.  Then she told me she couldn’t eat them since she was starting her new diet; something she was doing so she could look great going into this new phase of her life.  So there I was stuck with chocolates, a birthday cake and ice cream!  I know you’ll say I should have learned all this before the day came, but that would have ruined the surprise.  Say, could you use some ice cream – with chocolates on the side?


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